Kill “The Ring”

Yesterday, the new trailer for the (3rd?) Ring franchise dropped. Absent are Naomi Watts and David Dorfman who probably signed a joint statement of “nah” when approached for another film.

Bless you both.

Let’s be honest with ourselves. The Ring should have been a one note thing that’s now trying to do what the Saw franchise did. Bu ultimately devolved into a cinematic joke.

I re-watched the The Ring. 

The opening is a classic throwback to any and all horror films: two girls home alone and then something creepy happens. I’m also a sucker for horror/thriller films so at the time this movie came out (2002) I would have probably loved it no matter what.

I guess the thing that I appreciate about The Ring back in 2002 is that all the horror effects felt very practical i.e. the melting face girl in the closet and pulling the long string of hair out of the throat. With just a hint of obvious CGI with Samara hopping out of the television. It wasn’t horrible which made it somewhat believable and easy to forgive.

Oh, and not to mention that the haunted VHS is basically the best student film ever.

But the new preview left me with a very ‘meh’ feeling. From what I can tell the ‘boyfriend’ (?) may be the one that gets the main character Julia to watch the damn video. He then spends the majority of the preview screaming her name. Okay buddy, but this shit is probably ’cause of you Mr. I-Keep-Thinking-About-This-Story-About-A-Video-Tape.

Jerk.

The trailer is basically the various elements from the first movie. So, on that note I would probably just stick with watching the original.

However, the last scene of the trailer seems interesting with the two characters on a plane and all the videos screens start playing that damn, Samara student film video. That is some creepy shit. I would not be okay if that started playing on my flight.

Though, I would like to know why would you risk getting on a flight during those seven days? Was the local rent-a-car spot not open?

I really think this franchise should just sail off into the sunset and stop trying to bust out of that damn well. Though, I’ll leave my final judgements till the movie’s release in October.


 

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